Subtle_Fortitude

…strength of mind can be stronger than you think

Archive for March, 2010

Teacher…couple tu haram ke???

Posted by nuruliman45 on March 31, 2010

… a regular question I get from students..not only the students I teach but other students in the school

…aduh..kecik2 dah pandai…

What would you say to these girls?

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BI Teachers can’t be Ustazahs??

Posted by nuruliman45 on March 26, 2010

My classmates are starting our countdown.

yup…2 more weeks till we end our practical training at our respective schools.  Meaning 2 more weeks left for me at SMK Telok Mas.

Most of my friends are looking forward to finishing up teaching at our schools…

Me?… I’m starting to feel that awful sentimental going away feeling already.  I have this terrible, horrible, horrendous phobia of breaking away from people I’ve learned to get close to.  It’s been bugging me this week.  Yup, the thought of leaving my 2 classes scares me.  Afraid to face coping of missing them.  uwa.

Now, it’s just days till I leave my 2 Sigma and 4 Bestari.

The closer I get to the end of the training, the more I feel I haven’t performed my responsibility of educating my students spiritually.

“Teacher ni, macam ustazah pulak ceramah saya ni!”

That’s what my 4Bestari student blurted at me when I reminded him to perform his Zohor prayer that afternoon.  I found out that he (and a large number of his other classmates) didn’t fulfill their full 5 prayers.

When asked about his Zohor prayer the day before and before that,

“Selalunya saya tak sempat lah teacher.  Habis sekolah pukul 2.40.  Pastu saya kena buat mural tu.  Balik, dah pukul berapa…”

“Hah, kau nak jawab camtu ke esok2 bila mana ditanya kenapa kau tak solat?  Kau dah berhutang dah dgn ALLAH tu.”

(to remind you all, it is normal in Melaka to call students ‘kau’.  In other states, it might be considered rude and inappropriate.)

If it wasn’t for my patience, I would have chopped that student of mine to tiny tiny pieces!  Argh.  However, reminding myself that not everyone’s understanding of Islam is at the same level, I kept rambling on and on… trying my best to convince him that performing the Zohor prayer is not as burdening as he thinks.

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NO EXCUSE!

Posted by nuruliman45 on March 23, 2010

I got an e-mail from a close senior  few days ago..Just opened.  Couldn’t help but share it with you all.

Look at this child.


He is not a normal child, yet he is thanking ALLAH for everything he has.

Look at us…

We’re perfectly normal, but are we remembering ALLAH as this child is?

SubhanALLAH…brothers, sisters…there’s absolutely NO EXCUSE for not performing our prayers! …

whoever, whenever, wherever we are…

p/s: Man, I can’t stop feeling ashamed every time I look at this picture…

Please forgive me Oh ALLAH for my ignorance.



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Istikharah?

Posted by nuruliman45 on March 9, 2010

One big theme for me today:  being confident with my istikharah prayer.

Decisions.  Decisions.  Decisions….

You think and you think ..and you think.  Where can it lead you???

NO WHERE!!

…unless… you seek the help of ALLAH in making your decision… 🙂

Sometimes, I think to myself, Oh ALLAH, how weak I am.  For such a small matter do I already get confused in deciding.  Indeed, my thinking is ever so limited.  I need your assistance.

so comes this du’a from my heart:

O Allah! I seek Your decision through Your knowledge and your facilitation through your power and I ask You of Your tremendous grace. For indeed, You are capable while I am not, and You know while I know not, and You are the Knower of the Unseen. O Allah! If you know this affair to be best for me in my religion, my livelihood, and in the final outcome (or: in my immediate life and my future one), then decree it for me and facilitate it for me and then bless me in it. And if You know this affair to be worse for me in my religion, my livelihood, and in the final outcome (or: in my immediate life and my future one), then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and decree for me what is good, wherever it may be, and then cause me to be contented with it.

Yup.  People say consistently perform your istikharah prayer , not only for decisions for marriage and travelling purposes, but for ALL everyday decisions also.

So after I did mine several times for several weeks, I sit and think. ..and think…and well…think..

But I then remembered…

Allah says: “It is possible that you dislike a thing that is good for you, and that you love a thing that is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not. ” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 216]

Conclusion for today’s lesson:

To show that you’re confident with the answer you receive from ALLAH is that you’re ready to face the risks that come along with it.

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Fortitude behind the eyes of a young girl…

Posted by nuruliman45 on March 7, 2010

On Fridays (well, at least the Fridays when it’s an actual school day), I have an out-of-TESL task.  One of the ustazahs at the school requested that I replace her in delivering the weekly tazkirah slot on Fridays for the hostel girls while the hostel boys go for their mandatory Friday prayer.  Assuming this as an opportunity to get new experience, I accepted the offer.

Being a mere TESL student, I see myself as a person who’s not expert enough for the task.  Yet, remembering that anyone can be a da’ie, remembering that it being my responsibility to spread Islam in my own way, I felt that, with ALLAH’s help, I could perhaps try to contribute to an Islamic swing to these young girls.

Remember this hadith…? (below)

“Do oppose evil with your hands (or power). If you are powerless to oppose it with your hands, then it with your mouth.  And if we still cannot do so, then do oppose evil by despising it in your hearts. But,  those who only dare oppose evil quietly and secretly in their hearts are Muslims who are the weakest of faith (iman).”

..This means that EVERY MUSLIM has to fulfill amar makruf nahi mungkar (English: Enjoing right and forbidding wrong), no matter at what level their ability is.

So, well…I swung!  I talked about whatever I felt these young vulnerable girls needed to know to go through their ever-so-full-of-changes teenage hood.

The poor girls…they had to bear with my ‘rojak’ language.  It’s just hard to convert to bahasa malayu being in front of a number of students when you’re already used to using English in your classroom setting.  So whenever I try to speak full swing in Malay, unconsciously…jeng jeng jeng, English somehow seeps through my lips! hahaha….

whatever it is…the important thing is that the girls understand what is to be delivered, no matter what the language it is delivered in. 🙂

It’s a great wonder how much these young girls ponder in their little young minds.  🙂

AlhamduliLLAH, after each of my sessions, there would be at least 3 groups of girls who come up to me and ask about their big confusions they have in their everyday lives.  Why?  Because they are afraid that what they do isn’t acceptable in Islam.  SubhanALLAH.  How great ALLAH is in granting HIS hidayah (guidance) to these young people.

===

Last Friday (2 days ago), there was this one girl… I was really touched by her life story (luahan hati).

This form 1 girl asked me what she should do in her family, being in her place,  where her father doesn’t fulfill his obligatory 5 prayers a day.  Even his Friday prayers he sometimes ‘skips’.  And her mom not covering her aurat as what Islam has taught in taking care of one’s modesty.  She explained how her mom just started to wear the tudung (head scarf) two months ago.  She herself just started practicing to wear it consistently after attaining the awareness of having to wear it.  She said that her school environment encouraged her to do so.  AlhamduliLLAH. 🙂

This girl’s the eldest in the family.  I asked if she had any siblings that could probably support her in together guiding her parents.  She said the only other sibling she has is her younger 6-year-old brother.  Hence, this means she’s rather alone in fulfilling her responsibility in guiding her parents.

I thought to myself, How strong this girl is. I’m grateful that I have been raised where its my parents who guided me through adhering to Islam’s teachings, and not the other way around.  In the girl’s case, she has to make her parents understand Islam’s teachings – consistently remind her father to pray without letting him feel offended, help make her mom cover her aurat consistently without at the small least hurting her feelings, making sure her little brother is educated to adhere to Islam’s teaching without being influenced by their parents’ lack of practice of Islamic values in the family, and many other resposibilities.

I couldn’t imagine if I would be strong enough to do that if I was in her shoes.

SubhanALLAH.  May ALLAH ease her in helping her parents.

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